How excited I was that November evening as we drove home from dinner out with my extended family. My grandparents were visiting from out of state, and this rare opportunity to get out of the house for a meal with our three precious little hooligans tagging along had caused me a bit of anxiety. The event went beautifully, however. I cheekily remarked to my beloved "See! We can do this, we can handle having twins, no problem!"
Little did I know that within the next 15 minutes, a minor emergency would occur that would set off a sequence of events which would forever change my view of just who is really in control of our sweet little family.
As I whisked Ethan and Kaleb into the bathroom to prepare for their baths, Ian and David headed to the other room for some male bonding and music. Having just learned to crawl, no one could have guessed that the speed with which seven month old Ian would make it to the staircase... and then proceed to bounce all the way down to the bottom, would exceed the speed of his daddy chasing after him.
Frantic, David and I rush to access the damage. Clearly, we were much more traumatized by the incident than Ian was. As my bouncing baby boy crawled around playing happily, my beloved made the decision to have him checked out in the emergency room.
God bless Grandma and Pop Pop (who came to help with the other two boys)! Just one of the plethora of times they've rushed in to help us in time of need.
The hospital did a CT scan, told us that everything was fine, and sent us on our merry way. "Whew, so glad that's over!" Was my overconfident thought.
Only it was just beginning...
The phone call came a few days later. A solemn voice on the other end causes my stomach to somersault. "Mrs. Lewis, I have the results of Ian's CT scan." Then, silence.
Finally, a nervous laugh, followed by "Everything's okay, bu--"
(I interrupt with a relieved sigh) "Oh, I thought something was wrong there for a second!"
That is when she proceeded to tell me that everything was not indeed okay.
Everything was horrible. I was about to see all of my hopes and aspirations for my sweet little Ian replaced with constant anxiety and heartache over his future well being.
Apparently, she begins to explain, Ian was born with a congenital defect called Dandy -Walker syndrome. Research turns up case after case of children who live very happy normal lives... for a few years. Then one morning.. they just don't wake up.
It felt as if nothing could be more frightening, nothing could be worse.
That is, until the results of further testing came back...
They told me Kaleb had it too.
I love all of my children, and couldn't imagine life without any of them. But the twins were still young. They were new to this world, and hadn't really developed their own expectations about life. I was just beginning to come to terms with the fact that Ian was going to be "sick."
But Kaleb? Kaleb, he's my first-born. He already has plans for his future. He has hopes and dreams of his own that I so desperately want to see him fulfill.
My heart has never felt pain so intense.
The months to follow would send me on an emotional roller coaster of epic proportions. I had to make the agonizing decision to put them through the discomfort and risk of being put under general anesthesia for further testing that may or may not even lend us a glimpse at
the answers we so desperately sought.
That season of life would surely have been too much to bear If it weren't for the strong, loving arms of my ever gracious heavenly Father, and the constant encouraging support from my dear friends at policewives.org (big shout out to Tayna -- you rock!)
The process of scheduling and accomplishing test dates and subsequent visits with doctors to read those results was long and grueling.
For months I agonized over what information would be forthcoming once we finally got that much sought after meeting with the fancy John Hopkins doctor.
Then the day finally came.
Ethan's test results were confirmed free and clear of any concerns or abnormalities.
Kaleb and Ian do however have cysts on their brains. They will each have to be monitored closely, as the day may come when the cysts could put pressure on their cerebellums, resulting in damage that requires surgical repair.
However, they do NOT have Dandy Walker syndrome. Neither one of them does!
However, they do NOT have Dandy Walker syndrome. Neither one of them does!
PRAISE THE LORD!
The reason for this season of anguish within my spirit may never be revealed.
One thing I do know, God is in control. He gave me these children to raise up for Him, and for His honor. We are not so awesome that "see, we can handle having twins!" God has given us the strength, He has given us the safety and wisdom to make it this far in our journey. Without Him, we can do nothing. What does the future hold? Of this much I am certain, the Lord wanted us to know. He allowed Ian to tumble down those stairs that fateful night. He put it on my heart to take Ethan to bath first. Maybe He wants us to know the signs because one day, one of the boys will need the surgery. But maybe, just maybe, the good Lord just wanted to teach cheeky old mom a lesson. Maybe He wanted to make sure that I would hold onto them a little bit tighter, that I would appreciate the wonderful gift that
He has given this family in these three beautiful little boys.
It is for this lesson and many like it that I can say, I am truly blessed beyond measure!
